Monday, July 14, 2008

Adventures in GPS Navigation

For Christmas I bought Dawnell a GPS unit. Overall, it has been a fantastic addition and has made our lives so much easier. Navigating the freeways and highways and byways of New Jersey is borderline impossible without one it seems. We used to have to print off of google maps everytime we left the house, and now we can get to anywhere we need with the turn by turn navigation of our GPS unit.

But this weekend we found out that our GPS unit is not perfect, and this is because it always tries to take the shortest route from point A to point B. However, sometimes the shortest route is definitely NOT the way to go.

This Saturday Dawnell and I wanted to get out of the house, so we went up driving in upstate New York. It was a beautiful drive, and sometimes it's just nice to get out of the house. Anyway, on our way up, the GPS determined that the quickest way upstate would be to cross the George Washington Bridge. After 30 minutes sitting on the bridge we determined that we needed to figure out a way to trick the GPS on the way home, because anything that makes you drive in New York City (even in the Bronx) is a huge mistake that must be avoided at all costs.

Coming back down from upstate, we figured that life would be much simpler if we didn't have to go over the George Washington Bridge. We tried to trick our GPS system by telling it we wanted to go to Mahwah, New Jersey. Then, as soon as we crossed the Hudson River on the Tappan Zee Bridge we told it to take us home.

Things were going fine until we hit the George Washington Bridge and the GPS told us to go east towards the Bridge. Assuming that there must be a turn-off at some point, I turned east like the non-thinking lemming that I am. At this point Dawnell grabbed the GPS unit and started looking in the menus to figure out (via the turn by turn instructions) why it had told us to turn east.

Turns out that despite being in New Jersey, the GPS thought it would be a good idea to send us back OVER the George Washington Bridge, straight down the West Side Highway, and right through the Holland Tunnel back into our neighborhood in Jersey City. Luckily we were able to turn off before we got too far onto the bridge, but this was a complete betrayal! How could it ever be a good idea to travel into Manhattan to get from one place in New Jersey to another place in New Jersey. I don't care if it is a shorter distance, it's just wrong. Heck, I'd even go so far as to say that GPS units should have a special "never enter Manhattan" button on them.

Those of you in New Jersey will understand the terror that we felt at almost being guided into NYC in a car, and those of you in Utah can only thank your lucky stars that you can't fully comprehend why we almost felt as though we were in Joseph Conrad's dense jungle on our way into the Heart of Darkness.

Conclusion: We drove down Edgewater, through Hoboken, and got home safe and sound. Without sitting on the GW Bridge for 45 minutes.

5 comments:

  1. On our way back to Cleveland from Pittsburgh, the GPS lady insisted that we get off on some secondary highway. We discussed the logic of it and concluded that the almighty GPS must know a shortcut that we didn't. We took the exit only to be directed to get back on the original highway. Maybe it saved 30 seconds of travel time, but merging onto a major highway more than necessary is uncool.

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  2. One of my favorite moments on the Office, when they drive into the lake because of GPS lady.

    I'm glad you tried to trick Miss. GPS, sounds like she played the game pretty well herself though!

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  3. Awesome, I can immagine being told to drive straight through central London...noooo! While we were in Germany there was a story in the news about a woman in a minivan who followed her GPS as it directed her into a construction site and straight up the stairs of a building under construction. Resist becimong a GPS zombie!

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  4. PS, our friends GPS does the voice of Yoda, so cool. I suppose I'd be willing to do anything Yoda told me.

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  5. Okay, that's too funny, although I'd only obey Yoda if it were authentically Yoda. None of this "turn onto I-95 in half a mile." No, I want "In half a mile onto I-95 turn you must."

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