Livin' in an Amish Paradise, Literally--Labor Day Trip Part 1

Labor Day weekend we took a trip to gawk at people who are different than we are. Yes, we went out to Lancaster County to stare at the Amish.

Before we got to the plain people we decided to stop in for some gluttonous decadence.

It is indeed a Hershey's Chocolate world.

We took the fake factory tour with the chocolate scented air and this is what I learned:

1. Chocolate in the wild looks like a papaya. Here I am at a plantation learning that.

2. Cocoa looks like gross white nastiness. You'd never look at busted open cocoa pods and think, "Mmm let's process this through like 90 steps and I bet it'll be suuuuuper good." Of course, you'd also never look at it and want to eat it the way it was.

We're happy because it finally started to look like chocolate that you'd want to eat.

3. Hershey Corp is stupid because they discontinued the greatest candy ever--the Almond Joy Bite. Those tiny balls were the perfect ratio of almond to coconut to chocolate. Instead they're making things like special edition Elvis Reese's that have banana cream in them. We tried them. GROSS!

4. The whole world thinks Beckett is super adorable. As we were taking the below pictures we literally stopped the flow of walking traffic around us. One guy told us to send it in to Hershey's because it was so cute and maybe they'd pay us. We'd prefer to be paid in Almond Joy Bites.

5. I'd do it all again for the free candy at the end.

Now for the Amish part

I know this will sound strange, but it's seems a lot easier to be Amish than I thought it was. Now before you go, but wait, how could you live without electricity?! I learned I wouldn't have to. I could have a generator, plus propane and propane accessories are just fine. I couldn't keep running this blog, but electricity is cool, it's just the wires that connect them to the rest of the world that are bad. I guess they like to be off the grid. You can go buy junk food at Wal-mart, and if you're a guy or it's really cold buttons are a-okay. And you only have church every other Sunday. Lightweights.

The best thing about Lancaster county is, of course, the awesome town names. Those Amish think they're the plain people living a simple life, but behind closed doors....

Disclaimer: I know these jokes have been made a zillion times before. I also know that I am completely incapable of refraining from making them again.

My favorite thing is that it used to have a different name. They changed it TO intercourse. That's like being named Adam Smith and changing your name to Johnny Hildo. (Ah, such an old Saturday Night Live Reference.)

Here is a county map with a couple of other awesome, real town names added in. Have fun playing, "Spot the town you can't say you live in with a straight face."

We went to an "authentic" Amish farm. Okay, the house was built in the early 1800's by some Quakers, but Amish people lived in it after that. Regardless, it was fun to tour the house and grounds.

Here we are with a tiny Amish horse. Large horses are considered vulgar and ostentatious. :-)


We tackled the corn maze....

And were ultimately triumphant!

Then we hit the school for a little book learnin'. All the grades are together so Beckett and Chris enjoyed being able to attend classes together.


But once school was out it was time for some chores.

I'm not Amish, but I'm pretty sure that's not a real sheep.

Beckett thought he'd masquerade as an Amish kid.

He obviously doesn't have the hang of it just yet.

Coming soon--Day 3 and the not quite visit to Valley Forge.